Where does being pissed off come from?

After an afternoon of flat affect, I realized that I was just flat out angry. Most unusual for me, I was unable to actually pin point the sources of this irritation. Most times, it comes from something my house mate says or being flabbergasted that so many people update the universe on the CONSTANT comings and goings in their lives. Seriously, aside from the President and maybe a couple great minds on the planet, no one is so important that the multitudes need to be updated about your Farm, Mafia, Frontierville, or poker hand.

Digression aside, I think that for today at least, I was angry because I was (and still am) anxious. Recently, I had a series of panic moments that I hadn't had in many years. When compared to the problems of the world, I realize that I have nothing to be anxious about. I am in relatively good health (aside from the fat and high blood pressure), I have a place to live, food to eat, a comfortable environment, and people who care about my well-being.

Still, this anxious "holy shit, the world is coming to an end and I am about to die RIGHT NOW" feeling creeps around in the back of my head every day. I usually descend down into World of Warcraft and find tasks so involved that I can shove the fright to the doldrums of my head. Today, I was successful.

The question still remains. Where DOES being pissed off come from? I've come to three conclusions.

1) There are certain people, places, and circumstances I miss. I know all things change, but I still miss them (all the things above). You can't go home again, but you CAN long for an easier time. Bemister/Ladd/Farmer/Dills/Chontos/Slike/Ramey/Cox ~ (or BLFDCSRC for short) - - - all mixed together with some Elizabeth Shelly and Aunt Ilynn - THAT makes everything better again.

2) I could do so much more with my life if I wasn't always worried. I worry WAY too much and drugs and therapy don't help.

3) Laura Alexander said once "Who knows what the future will hold?". Ive used that quote about a million times since she said it. It's the promise that things will get better that keeps me around for the next day. Mark Abshire - this one is for you.

Wherever your pissed off comes from, it could be worse. Laura was right - tomorrow will be better if you just remember the last item from tonight's rant.

The only person you need to have like you ...

... is you.

The lone cell in eastern Yadkin county is ambling along so slowly it won't make it this far. At least someone is enjoying an evening sprinkle.